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Protag(onist)

Generally called by her nickname, Protag, Protag is, most of the time, who the narration follows. That's not say she's really ever all that in control, though; typically others in the cast are competing for the title of main character, whether intentionally or not. Outside of work, she generally drives her own destiny... But in the factory and online, the gears are turning whether she likes it or not. She's very passive looking and generally content to let the world pass her by, especially at the factory, which frequently lets her fade into the background during intense situations. But here and there, at just the right time, she'll pop in and interject with something that shocks everyone present, often including Love. She's also bizarrely knowledgeable, and nobody really knows where she learned such a broad collection of information. It seems she really doesn't, either, but given her tendency to be listening at all times, it makes a little more sense than at first glance.

Tryhard

Constantly pining (not literally) for employee of the month... not that C-Suite is really sober long enough to comprehend what month it is... Tryhard is by far the most painfully honest person in the company. Maybe the world. She's prone to emotional outbursts and crying when she thinks she may have hurt someone, and is also wildly sexually open. At first glance she may seem to be into a lot of weird stuff because of what she talks about doing, but srangely she's actually just a pretty blank slate. Her attempts to help people live to their fullest extent and realize their dreams just extends to sex, and she doesn't have a whole lot of preferences of her own. She's just very good at drawing these deep kinks and desires out of people, through a combo of being very hot, bubbly, kind, and unfazed by just about anything. Also, she's a stickler about OSHA, but is kind of a Queen of Double Standards on it and not super aware of that fact.

Love (Interest)

Others took note quite quickly of the connection between Protag and Love Interest, which earned her this nickname. She's not the type to be too concerned about people calling her Love, so the abbreviation is quite fine by her. And if they're being condescending and using it as a pet name, that just shows their weakness, and they should have played their cards closer to their chest. ;^)

Lumberjack

Very gay. A stereotypical bear. Working at this factory thus has an inherent drain, besides the shitty coworkers. He's very powerful in quite a few definitions of the word, but like others is regularly shocked by Protag, and really just cannot figure her out. You can generally count on him to be stable and have the back of everyone around who's not making everyone else's life hell.

Demo(nic Presence), aka (Sub)ccubus

Probably the closest we have to supernatural in this story is Demo. Demo is a long time friend of Lumberjack's, and is a Satanic looking woman whose skin is tattooed full red. She wears black hardcore accessories and always dresses in men's dress clothing... when she's wearing clothes at all, that is. Tryhard has an uncanny knack for getting her undressed, and despite Demo's impenetrable assertions when she's made up her mind that something is going to happen (even to the point of overriding C-suite, who is terrified of her and doesn't entirely trust she's really just a human), she's one of the most pitiful sexual submissives in existence. Oh, also, she carries around an enormous battle axe. And she's used it before. Gorily.

Subccubus is also a car Demon. You can read more about this in the Artifacts section.

Some Background, First, on C-Suite (aka, Executive Team)

It's rare to find them apart from each other, and they have a penchant of quite literally kicking down doors to make an entrance (maintenance actually custom designed the doors to handle this, a similar concept to breakaway cables). They're also extremely homoerotic, tho at the same time bizarrely asexual. C-Suite is... quite something. Generally that something is inhuman quantities of cocaine.

In Major League Baseball, UFC and Boxing, Bodybuilding, and more, we have steroids and Roid Rage. The performance enhancing drug of choice in the corporate world, however... That's cocaine. In 2024, some are dabbling in ketamine, shrooms, and LSD. And sure, some of Cumic Sans' C-Suite's board room meetings dabble in those, too. But let's be honest, those aren't the future. As they say: "Good Men make good times, good times make Weak Men, Weak Men make hard times, and Hard Times make Good Men." Nobody got bonkers sales numbers on ketamine or shrooms. In the "Near Future," we're back to coke, and these guys aren't fucking around. Nosebleeds and pupils the size of a USA dinner plate abound (none of that European shit, we eat big here).

When people, in real life, see a shitty product that makes no sense and say, "that was dreamed up in a board meeting with a lot of drugs", they usually aren't intimately familiar with what those people are actually like. Unlike most people, I am. I have met them, gone to school, events, conferences, and interviews with them. I read their interviews and reports, their PR pieces, and chat with some of the bigger ones even. The culture pervades; not even close to the majority of them are on coke regularly, but the paragons of sales and efficiency, those impossible growth percentages, those corporate legends... drugs, cults, and ego usually played a central part of those legends. And since everyone is striving towards those legends... Lots of people act like they are on, or partake in, some form of drugs at least periodically. C-Suite knows this, and decided to cut to the chase. And boy do they get results... Even if they destroy half the world with them.

Also, strangely, they are seemingly asexual, despite the overwhelming occurrences of sexual acts between each other. But I don't want to spoil much past that. ;^)

CEO (Chief Executive Officer)

They say culture comes from the top down. None of the rest of C-Suite would have lasted long at the company if CEO didn't get along well with them. In fact, here and there the C-Suite roster gets added to, which is often a humiliating and painful process for the kind of high caliber professional that usually applies for C-Suite positions.

CEO strives to be powerful in every sense of the word. Dude is jacked with pure muscle (despite the cocaine, which tends to do the opposite since it's an appetite suppressant), and loves to use it to throw things around, crack eggs, and kick open doors, among other things. He doesn't say just about anything without full throat shouting it, but like the rest of C-Suite he doesn't tend to cross the line of physical violence or threat of such besides very limited situations. The other employees hate him and dread his presence, but aren't scared for their safety.

CFO (Chief Financial Officer)

CFO gets finance. He gets it. He loves money and is very motivated by it. He's the one who manages to cinch a lot of the deals that keep the company running; C-suite works as a team to do this, and CFO is the one who gets those sweet sweet cash negotiations down on paper. He has a seemingly unnatural skill of getting people to drop the kind of money no one ever would knowing the company's reputation... But as I said before, Wall Street was fueled by coke, so what looks supernatural is just a natural talent augmented by an impossible volume of white powder.

CTO (Chief Technology Officer)

CTO is (horribly) EXTREMELY intelligent and capable as far as engineering and technology. It would be WAY easier to cope with his existence psychologically if he were a moron. Unfortunately, he's a genius, and he doesn't fucking care to teach anyone anything. He's too busy licking the rest of C-Suite's assholes (literally? I don't know, not even god knows with them). A typical interaction with CTO goes something like this:

CTO: "Make a machine that [does something unrealistic] in [miniscule period of time]." Employee: "Boss, I have no idea how to do that, much less in that short of time." CTO: "Fucking figure it out, dude, I have shit to do. This is what I hired you for, go get it the fuck done." Employee: "O-okay..." [previously mentioned infinitesimal amount of time passes] CTO: "Is it done yet???" Employee: "No, I couldn't figure-" CTO: "Why the fuck did I even hire you when you can't solve this basic issue???" CTO proceeds to draw out an extremely detailed blueprint or design, with relevant measurements or code, without using a calculator, straightedge, notes, or anything else but a dry erase marker. He doesn't have to erase a single time. This takes him less than 5 minutes, and he is completely in the zone. His rage melts away. Upon making the final mark, he snaps out of his focus, immediately back into asshole mode. CTO: "See? That fucking easy. Holy shit, I have to do everything around here. Get to fucking work, I have [thing that definitely would destroy the entire business if it weren't for Symp] to do, this better be done by the time I'm back."

Why couldn't he have just put in those 5 minutes at the beginning??? That is CTO in a nutshell.

CSO (Chief Strategy Officer)

Okay guys... I know I said they don't do shrooms or ketamine all that much... but CSO is the relevant dabbler. He's constantly trying to see the world in different ways, so he can ~~SeE tHe WoRlD iN DiFfErEnT wAyS~~. Dude is a bit bonkers. He is sober (which for C-Suite is code for only coke, and nothing else) a fair bit of the time, but will have sessions where he tries reaching a new state of mind in order to stay ahead of the competition and come up with new products and business strategies, as well as try to predict the competition's next moves (not that there's a whole lot of direct competitors...). Unfortunately this means Symp and to a large degree the rest of C-suite have to filter the crazy shit he says so he doesn't take the company on too insane of a trajectory, though with C-suite's predisposition towards grandiosity this can tangle up Symp quite intensely.

Sex Warden, aka SW

Chief Sex Officer's abbreviation was already taken, so after a bit of drama, a focus group, and more drama, everything got thrown into the fireplace and they came up with Sex Warden. SW tends to be short for Sex Worker, but the misunderstanding doesn't bother him all that much, because in his eyes his position does make him one, though he's done some sleeping around for money here and there, too.

Unlike the rest of C-Suite's generally business casual outfits (or just nothing), SW can always be found in ridiculous, inventive, and over the top kink gear; after all, his job does call for innovation, even if it does cause an eyebrow raising juxtaposition. However, he knows time and place, and has a physical switch that turns off all of his vibrators at once in case of a down to business meeting or memorial moment of silence.